Twice in the past couple of weeks, Rebekah has made a comment that has so encouraged me in my role as a parent. Blair and I have spent countless hours asking our children questions, talking to them, disciplining them, encouraging them, and teaching them through Scripture without having much of an inkling if any of it was permeating their minds and hearts. We have strived to go beyond simple changing their behavior and have sought to get to the heart and motive behind their actions.
According to James 4:1-2, people do what they do because they want what they want. I can see this everyday in my own life as I speak harshly to my rowdy children at the dinner table because all I want is to have a peaceful dinner or when I become frustrated that they are not moving fast enough because I want to be somewhere by a certain time. Now, peaceful dinners and punctuality are not at all wrong things to desire, but when I sin in order to get them, when they become more important to me than the God I serve and the individuals He has entrusted to my care, that is when my wants need to change.
This is the principle we want our children to grasp. We want them to see that they are sinners in need of the Savior and that they do not have to live life completely ruled by their desires and passions. The process of helping them see this is not quick and easy. It takes time to stop and have a conversation instead of simply sending them off to a time out. It takes patience (that I don’t always have) to help them discover (for what seems like the hundredth time) why it is important to share and why they have a hard time doing it.
However, God is doing a work in sweet Beka’s heart and it is so exciting to see how she is beginning to connect the dots. A couple of weeks ago, she got into a fight with one of her siblings. I called her over, knelt down in front of her, and asked her what happened. After she explained what she was thinking and feeling and what she did in response, we talked about how love is kind and how it is important to show kindness to others even when they are not acting in a kind way towards us. She then said these incredibly insightful words, “I can’t. It is too hard. I can’t be kind to my sister when she acts like that.” I was beyond ecstatic to share that she was absolutely right, she can’t accomplish this difficult task on her own. She needs Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. It was such a blessing to be able to have a moment of worship with my daughter as we talked about the change that can take place in our lives through Christ.
A couple of days ago, I caught her dipping her finger into the sugar bowl that sits on the counter beside our coffee maker. This has been something I have reminded her not to do a number of times. The last time I talked to her about it, I warned her that she would be disciplined if she did it again. However, before the discipline, I asked her a few questions about what she was thinking about when she made the choice to disobey. After talking with her for a few minutes, she blurted out, “but it is just so tempting!” Another amazingly insightful response and one that I was thrilled to discuss. 🙂 We talked about temptations that I face, temptations that Jesus himself faced, the importance of running away from temptation (leaving the kitchen in this particular case), the importance of learning how to fight against temptations while she is young and it is merely a sugar bowl, and the hope that we have in Christ because He can help us no matter what the temptation might be. This was not a quick conversation and I had many other things around the house that I needed to tend to, but by God’s grace, we were able have a meaningful conversation.
Later that day, she came up to me while I was getting something out of the pantry and asked me if I knew why she had run quickly out of the kitchen a few minutes earlier. I hadn’t seen her do this and wasn’t really sure what she was talking about so I told her no. She said she had been tempted to get into the sugar again and needed to get out of there as fast as she could. So awesome! Learning how to fight temptation at the age of 6! She is way ahead of me. 🙂
I’m so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to invest into the lives of these small (but growing!) people. It is exciting to see how God is working in their lives and I am amazed by His goodness.
redeemedchaos 