Love is….

This year, my goal is to be more intentional with holidays.  During the past few years, new babies, toddlers, a very busy husband, and many activities have caused me to think about holidays about two days prior to the actual event.   Two days is not quite enough time to plan, shop for, prepare, and execute a successful holiday event.  So, holidays have simply come and gone with little fanfare and even less tradition.

Holidays provide an incredible opportunity to change up the pace, focus on something specific, and celebrate Christ in the midst of our everyday lives.  After making this goal in January, Valentine’s Day was the first to succumb to my new plan and I went to work, planning everything out nearly a month in advance.

One of my ideas was to purchase a large white tablecloth and several fabric pens.  In my mind, I pictured us all sitting around the table, enjoying a meaningful conversation, while eating a special heart shaped pizza on our nice china dishes and drinking lovely pink lemonade in elegant crystal glasses.  I would snag a few perfect pictures of our smiling children while getting to enjoy the meal myself of course.  After the meal, I would hand out the markers and we would take turns writing something we love about one of the other members of our family.  There would be much laughter, smiles, and, most importantly, LOVE.

As I said, this is what took place in my mind.  Instead, real life took over!  My husband was gone on TDY (Temporary Duty for those not in the military), so it was me with five hungry kids.  Seth (20 months) pulled the nice, white tablecloth off the table after I had so neatly arranged it.  Thankfully, I had not set the table with my lovely china yet.   My own meal was scarfed down in between comforting Ruth (3 months), serving up more pizza and fruit, cleaning up a spill, and making sure everyone used napkins instead of the tablecloth to wipe their hands.  The reason you see don’t see any pictures accompanying this post is not because I am technically challenged, but because there are none.  Much to my shame, I wasn’t able to get a single one.  Note to self…put Rebekah in charge of the camera at the next holiday event!

Towards the end of the 10 minute meal (my, my, can kids sure eat fast when it is food they enjoy), I brought our meaningful conversation about Tonka trucks to a close and introduced our special Valentine’s Day project.  Each child picked someone to write about, which worked out extremely well.  All names were covered and no fights broke out.  I wrote for Anna (3 years), Seth, and Ruth, while spelling words periodically for Rebekah (6 years) and Trey (5 years).  The plan was to write something you love about your sibling.  I spent a little more time clarifying what I meant when I heard that Trey was going to write, “I love to play Spot It with Anna because I help her win and she really likes that.”  Amazing how when we are supposed to be thinking about how wonderful another person is, we can always manage to bring it back around to how highly we think of ourselves.  🙂

We ended up with things like, “I love Ruth’s smiles” (Rebekah) and “I love that Trey plays Spot It with me” (Anna) and “I love how Rebekah takes care of me” (Seth).  Now, mind you, I considered this night a raging success.  Valentine’s Day was special, we had made some memories, we have a tablecloth that we can pull out again next year, the kids  tummies were full, and I made it through the evening without getting a headache and with energy to spare (truly God’s grace!).

However, the very next day the kids and I caravanned  down to Little Rock with my parents and I got the chance to talk with my dad for a couple of hours.  He and my mom were on their way home from a biblical counseling conference they had been attending.  In one of the sessions, the topic of love was discussed and the point was made that God does not love us because of what we do for Him.  He simply loves.  “For God so loved the world…” John 3:16, “But God demonstrated His own love towards us…” Romans 5:8, “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us…” I John 3:1, “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” I John 4:10

As I thought about this, I realized that everything we had written on the tablecloth were things that can basically be summarized as “I love ______ because he/she makes me happy”  Now, these are wonderful things to be thankful for and my kids can certainly enjoy the fact that their siblings seek (at times) to bring them joy.  However, we do not love because of what we can get in return.  We love because it is what God calls us to do, no matter what the behavior, personality, actions, attitude or looks of the other person.

Another facet to this subject of love is that we, people in general, are created in the image of God.  From the baby who is just minutes old to the elderly gentleman breathing his last breath, we bear God’s image, His likeness.  He is a creative, loving, gracious, faithful, wise, just, truthful, pure, artistic, logical, orderly, noble, powerful, generous (and the list goes on) God.  These qualities, although severely skewed by the fall and only made useful again by His grace, can be seen in those we interact with each and every day.  It’s these qualities that we should love and adore, not because we get something out of it, but because it gives us a picture of our God and it causes us to glorify Him.

So perhaps next year we will see things like “I love how Rebekah enjoys being with people” or “I love Trey’s hunger for knowledge” or “I love Anna’s passion for life”.  In the meantime, I will gratefully take a lesson from Valentine’s Day 2013 and work on demonstrating love for my kids by celebrating who God has created them to be and rejoice in the fact that 5 little image bearers have been entrusted to my care for His glory.

Now, on to preparing for Easter…  🙂